Horror Movies Make Me Happy, and Other Small Truths

Something about hundreds, sometimes maybe even thousands, of people working together to enable truly horrific realities come to life with million-dollar budgets just warms me up inside. Anything done by Stephen King should be funded and filmed. Even the remakes are okay with me.

I feel confident in my ability to stay in Denver through November. It’s not official, but it looks good. I feel good about it. That’s more than I’d hoped for, and I’m grateful. The road less traveled has proven to be more wild and curvy than straight and narrow, and I’m doing better than expected. As much as I might long for normality, I find home in the holes of strange between most people’s everyday. Whatever works, I suppose.

Steve is right-I can’t go to sleep in the middle of the night. I have to find that sweet spot between 2am-4am, where I can pass out and wake before noon, but today I may greet another sunrise. I always feel safe to sleep after the sun has risen.

I’ve memorized my apartment enough to find my way from the bedroom to the kitchen in the dark. I can walk to the bank, the grocery, the post office, and the library in under 20 minutes from my front door. There are at least three parks in similar distances, two of which have swings that adults can use. If only the AC/heat situation were different, it would be made of perfect. lol I’m totally saying “ew” to my bubblegum flavored medicine.

My mom and I talked for about two hours the other day. She told me why she and my first step-dad got divorced. I had always thought he left her, but it turns out that he threatened her, and she left him. He said that he’d help Jim take us kids away from her, and so she divorced his ass. I’m proud of her. I’m lucky she did that. I doubt Dan would have acted, but nonetheless, she made the right call. My mom loves me and my siblings, and always has. I’m not always up to par when it comes to family, but I always had love from my mother.

The problem with not sleeping is that you get hungry every six hours or so, and then you run out of Cheerios. That, and eyes that make you want to invest in makeup.

One of the men I love is having issues. I’m unable to do more than watch. Sometimes in my roles of power, I feel extremely powerless.

Apparently only knowing Alice Cooper from Wayne’s World is something that should inspire shame and repentance.

I flashed today through a game of smash. I’m having trouble holding it together in places outside of home. I think it’s that I’m at home so much, the outside world is becoming less simple again. On the bright side, I only lost one and a half stock.

Maybe if I lay down on the couch, I’ll fall asleep…

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